Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
