Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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