Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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