he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
