I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
