I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just had sex on a roof
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
