Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
