i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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