if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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