we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Randomize
