i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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