Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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