Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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