Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
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