i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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