If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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