guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
