Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
