So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You ate ashes out of my bong
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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