We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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