Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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