Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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