I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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