She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
