I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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