She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
