i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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