just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
