I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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