My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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