you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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