You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
