i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
