Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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