It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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