sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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