hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
