dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
