i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
