I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
A+ Viking dick
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
