This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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