the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
