I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
