Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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