my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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