I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
