I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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