I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Farmville is her only friend.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
