what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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