She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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